funny poems

Mary had a little skirt
With slits right up the sides
And everytime she crossed her legs
The boys could see her thighs

Mary had another skirt
With a slit right up the front
She never wore that one...


The sky was dark
The moon was high
All alone just she and I
Her hair was soft
Her eyes were blue
I knew just what
She wanted to do
Her skin so soft
Her legs so fine
I ran my fingers
Down her spine
I didn't know how
But I tried my best
I started by placing
My hands on her breast
I remember my fear
My fast beating heart
But slowly she spread
Her legs apart
And when I did it
I felt no shame
All at once
The white stuff came
At last it's finished
It's all over now
My first time ever
At milking a cow.....

There once was a guy named Dave,
Who dug up a whore from a grave.
She was moldy and shitty,
And only had one titty
But look at the money he saved!


Have you done it on a boat?
Have you done it with a goat?


Have you done it in a bed?
Have you done it with the dead?


Have you done it in the ass?
Have you done it, high on grass?


Have you done it in the car?
Have you simply gone too far?


Have you done it on the beach?
Have you done it with the teach?


Have you done it on your back?
Have you done it strapped to a rack?


Have you done it in a box?
Have you done it with a fox?


Have you done it in a tree?
Have you done it with more than three?


Have you done it in the rain?
Have you done it for the pain?


Have you done it 'tween the tits?
Have you done it wearing mitts?


Have you done it packed in rubber?
Have you done it undercover?


Have you done it on a perch?
Have you done it in a church?


Have you done it with a virgin?
Have you done it with a sturgeon?


Have you done it with ropes and chains?
Have you done it while insane?


Have you done it on the stage?
Have you done it underage?


Have you done it with all your friends?
Have you done it in both ends?


Have you done it with your dog?
Have you done it on a log?


Have you done it under clamps?
Have you done it with the lamps?


Have you done it without style?
Have you done it up a mile?


Have you done it for all to see?
Have you ever had VD?


Have you done it on Mother's couch?
Have you done it in your mouth?


Have you done it while on tape?
Have you done it out of shape?


Have you done it on live TV?
Have you done it whilst you pee?


Have you done it in the gym?
Have you done it on a whim?


Have you done it on a dare?
Do you really think we care?


Answer these and count your "no"s,
pray this number never grows.
Fifty questions we asked thee,
score times two is thy Purity.

THE CREATION OF A VAGINA
Seven wise men with knowledge so fine
Created a pussy to their design.
First was a butcher, smart with wit,
Using a knife, he gave it a slit.
Second was a carpenter, strong and bold,
With a hammer and chisel, he gave it a hole.
Third was a tailor, tall and thin,
By using red velvet, he lined it within.
Fourth was a hunter, short and stout,
With a piece of fox fur, he lined it without.
Fifth was a fisherman, nasty as hell,
He threw in a fish and gave it a smell.
Sixth was a preacher whose name was McGee,
He touched it and blessed it and said it could pee.
Last came a sailor, a dirty little runt,
He sucked it and fucked it and called it a cunt